Shockingly I wake up happy and un-shockingly with a sever headache at 4.30 am. I run to do coffee. Coffee is my best friend for bipolar Monday mornings. I try to convince myself to go to gym--- Fuck that!
I feel so trusty! It seems unquenchable! And Starving! I crave for hard boil eggs. Weird! Here I am at 4.30 am in the morning boiling dozen of eggs in my my underwear.
My husband realizes I'm up. Poor thing gets worried. I calls my name and " Honey! Why are you up? It is too early! Come to bed!"
"It is bipolar Mondays! Gggrrrr!!"
"OK! OK!..."
I manage to shower and make myself presentable. I walk to work hating the world. I move slower than normal as if I really wanted to be late to work. I make excuses. "Look at that ugly dog! Let's talk to her!"
"Hello doggie! How cute you are!" Her owner seems happy. He says '"Isn't she adorable?" -- NO! I'm not talking to you MORON! I'm trying to be late to work! Gggrr!
As soon as I get to office. Everyone starts greeting " Good Morning Z!"
Aayyyyy! What Good Morning?%@! What are these people on?
When was the last time Monday had a good morning. I take that as an insult. Don't you dare good-morning me agian!!
I occasionally snap at my assistant as an excuse I tell "Hello! I'm very bipolar on Mondays! Don't even talk to me!!"
Right before to lunch time I load my body with tons of caffeine. Being over dose of caffein seems to be not helping my lack of sleep. I constantly yawn. On the contrary my bowels make overtime. I fart tiny little and poop multiple times.
At lunch time I'm so happy! I go to Bryant Park. It is two blocks away from my office. I love my life!! I love my job.
On the way back to office my murderer mood kicks in again. Yucks! I hate my life! These people on the street are f-ing annoying!--I know! I know! I'm very bipolar on Mondays. I just get used to it. By 3pm I start day dreaming. I see glass of chardonnay everywhere. Why can't they let us drink during the day?? At least on Mondays!!!
After work I rush to home. First sip of chardonnay feels heavenly. My bipolar Monday finally ends. I feel exhausted! Being bipolar wears me out, but I look forward to manic-depressive Tuesdays or very hungover Fridays.
1 TALK TO Z! COMMENT?:
Thanks for making me laugh. (I can relate)
Reading this made my shit Monday so much better.
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