My dangling love handles!!!!

YES!!!  I admit my love handles dangle!! While I was walking to the gym last weekend, I became aware of my dangling love handles. Nobody saw it and nobody would see it, but I was ashamed. It used to my belly button piercing dangled as I walked. Now my tiny piercing is stuck into my cushion-tummy. It is very stable.   

 My dangling love handles weren’t the first alarm for my recent chubbiness. Let’s go back to March 19th 2010 

What a fashionable gay guy would do for rainy lunch break?--Shopping!! I was in my “I have to buy something” hysteria. The closest store was GAP. Not that I ever go to GAP, but I said to myself “What the HECK!” It was pouring down. I couldn’t think straight.

I checked out their men’s stuff— Not much inspiring!Suddenly I saw a nice purplish-brown plaid shirt. It was calling my name. I expected it wouldn’t fit me well since Gap’s garments are loose fit. I had time to kill and there was no line for fitting room.A miracle happened!!!  Plaid shirt fit so nicely. Plus it was on sale! WIN-WIN-BUY situation! I purchased my very first GAP item. 

 When I got home after emotionally exhausting work day, I wanted to show off my unexpected purchase to my husband.

“Look Honey! I bought a button down shirt from GAP. It was on sale”

“I thought Gap’s stuff was so big on you”

“No! This one fits perfectly. I guess GAP updated their fit to reach out skinny, young customers. They have slim fit now”

“That’s odd!” He grabbed the minimalisticly designed hangtag and read loudly.

“Forgiving fit! LOL!”“Whaaat?!! It can’t be!!” I couldn’t believe my own eyes.

“Well! Mr Z! GAP didn’t get slimmer! You got bigger!” my husband said brutally.

“How dare you?!! I’m cutting you off from sex for 5 days! No masturbation is allowed!” 

 I was pissed. What did it mean “Forgiving fit”??

It was like saying to me “Ooops sorry! You are FAT but we forgive you!!” I decided to return it.  I didn’t want any reminder of this terrible memory! I resented. 

Was I right to be pissed to Gap? --NOOO!!How did I come to this point? I have NO idea.

I ate very healthy. They said walnuts were good for you; I ate the whole jar. They said avocado was good fat; I gulped it down without biting. They said red wine was good for your heart; I sucked down the entire bottle.I wasn’t an emotional eater! I wasn’t a closeted eater! I was simply an EATER. Whatever I found healthy, I ATE IT!!!! 

 Now it is time to get back on my skinny days. I have to run on cardio machine like a horse. Say hello to four almonds breakfasts, liquid lunches and two string beans dinners. My chewing days are over. Lots of pooping will be involved. Thanks to side effects of green tea! Welcome to dizziness, light headiness and weakness!! Good riddance to my dangling mushy love handles!

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To my metabolism,You are a fickle BITCH!

Click here to read "To my former Fuck buddies!"
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