Last weekend I was in South Beach for long weekend. Weather was terrific, beach was spectacular and service at restaurants and cafes was horrendous. I must say the worst service was at Starbucks. I tried their three different locations. They were all the same. I can describe their service with three words. SUCKED! SUCKED! SUCKED!
There was always minimum half an hour line. It wasn’t moving at all. All I wanted to have my daily cappuccino. Was it so much to ask??
People on the line were having severe caffeine withdrawals. Well! Seeing withdrawn individuals was painful. The most painful part was being one of them.
As I waited on the line, I noticed so many trembling hands, wiggling legs and twitching eyes. After 20 minutes I got delusional. I hallucinated all customers had popped up eyes, sharp vampire teeth and they wore red crew neck t-shirt with bold, black print "I KILL FOR CAFFEINE!”
Finally after half an hour it was my turn. ---HAPPY ENDING!!--?
“Can I get small cappuccino?-Please?”
“What kind of tea do you want?”…
What the F! -- I MURDER her NOW!
“I asked for small cappuccino!”
“Do you mean TALL cappuccino?”
“SMALL cappuccino!!!”
“ Tall cappuccino?”
“NO!! SMALL cappuccino!!!!”
What’s up with Starbucks people? Owning four percent of my paycheck wasn't enough, they also own a language. Why do they force me to use their made-up vocabulary? I took me years to learn English! Now I’m supposed to learn Starbucklish! I strongly refuse to speak it.
TALL cappuccino?!
Get real! It is smaller than a can of diet coke! Their fake size names don’t even make sense TALL? GRANDE? VENTI?
I’m 5-7 tall. With this mentality my 6-1 tall basketball player friend should call me “Hi! Tall Z!”
I must call him “ What’s up? Grande Dude!”
SO! Who is venti? Someone is 6-4 tall? Michael Jordan? or King Kong?
These people are ill! Freud calls this… Starfucks Syndrome!
Look Starbucks people! Just because I’m caffeine addicted, it doesn’t mean you get to push me around! I pay the bill, I run the circus. When I say small, it is small. Don’t you argue with me!!! Otherwise!
Hasta la vista Star-bugs! Bienvenido El Busto!
9 TALK TO Z! COMMENT?:
This is hilarious! Especially the part about the made up sizes . . . I can imagine it being applied to things other than height, too . . .
LOL !! Starbucks SUCKS anyway! Peet's Coffee is the best - and their sizes are small, medium and large. ;)
No one should have to speak 'Starbucks' to get a friggin' latté...
I know! Whatever happened to small, medium, and large, because that's what we're talking about, people. You can call a small a tall, and you can call a medium a grande, and you can call a large a venti, but they are still SMALL, MEDIUM, and LARGE. Are we supposed to think we're getting more for our money because you call a small a tall? We're not that stupid. Or maybe we are . . . $4 for a small-tall coffee. Excluding tip.
You are right about the made up sizes....I just say "medium" and let them deal with it.
Watch the commercials.
McDonald's (who i abhor) is slowing stealing Starbucks' thunder.
Slowly they are taking on all of Starbuck's products.
"Will that be fries with your latte'?"
"Owning four percent of my paycheck wasn't enough, they also own a language. Why do they force me to use their made-up vocabulary? I took me years to learn English! Now I’m supposed to learn Starbucklish!"
you crack me up, Z. I boycott Starbucks just for that reason. (Plus, I don't like their product. Or their corporation). I make my own in the morning--Cafe Bustelo. Two souvenir Elvis mug-sized cups.
Rated for "Starbucklish" alone. I despise the place. The weather was horrible last weekend. Were you in a vortex of Miami?
Actually, tall isn't a small at Starbucks. A short is.
Short = Small
Tall = medium
Grande = Large
Venti = x-large
Starbucks didn't make up the size names they just popularized them. Like they did with espresso beverages which hardly anyone drank before Starbuks was around, the silly names were around long before Starbucks started selling espresso beverages, except for venti which Starbucks did make up (it is Italian for 20, the venti is 20 oz.)
Yeah, I don't like Starbucks, I like the small coffee shop where you say, a small and they don't blink but just give you the damn thing!!
SCREW YOU STARBUCKS, WITH YOUR BURNT TASTING DRUGS!! PFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!! I'll take an Ice Mocha at Jim's Coffee Shop any day, plus, he's cheaper!! PFFFFTTT!! :)
Diet Coke is my caffeine choice. But I do love going to Starbucks as much as I can.
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