Fire Island preparations! GAME ON BOYS!!!!

As all my blog fans know, I have a summer share in Fire Island. It is a gorgeous island and full of handsome gay boys. In three weeks my share is starting. I’m very excited about that. I share the house with other seven gay guys. I don’t know if you know anything about Fire Island boys. They are all impeccably handsome. (S T U N N I N G!!). These boys prepare their bodies for summer all year around. My housemates already started going on all sorts of crazy diets and training sessions. For example one of my housemates has been on a liquid diet for 15 days (maybe more!). He only drinks water, lemon juice, maple syrup & cayenne pepper concoction. Can you believe that BITCH?! He hasn’t bitten solid food for weeks. He has gone further with his liquid diet and bought a food scale. He scales even zero calorie water.

Yeah! In three weeks I have to be in my perfect shape. I admit I have still my winter weight on. I have extra four pounds!!! Don’t say!! 4 pounds is NOTHING!!! Those extra pounds gotta go! PERIOD!!!
I tired everything green veggie drinks, acai berry shakes which make me shit to death & also puking!!!! Stubborn four pounds are still down there somewhere. So!! I came up with a plan!! Starting from tomorrow, I will eat three times meal and two times snack. I will eat 1/8 of cereal bar for breakfast, two strips of green beans for lunch, ½ of celery stick for dinner. For snacks menu is so simple. I will deeply inhale!!! (Hmmhmm! tasty!!) Of course gallons of water!!! I will also run 2 hours on the treadmill like a horse everyday.

I’m afraid I have to cut alcohol too which could be very embarrassing for me. If someone realizes it, my reputation could be ruined. I have to be really careful. At parties I will order club soda with lime. I will tell everyone, it is vodka-soda. If a jerk realizes, I will definitely deny it. If jerk insists and says “OH! Hahaha! It is not vodka-soda!! I know you are drinking plain club soda” I will quietly say “ If you don’t shut up now, I will post all your bad pictures on my blog and tell everyone you have STD’s” Of course jerk will shut up because this trick always works.

There are a lot of things to do before my share starts. I have to trim my chest, armpit and pubic hair. Yeah! Who wants to see mustache on his snake anyway. One week prior to summer share I must get hair cut which should make me look like extremely available. Facial must be gotten one week prior to share as well. For that I’m depending on my Russian facial person. She must squeeze my black heads shit the hell out of it. Even if I scream, I don't care!!1

Also I need to see how my friends are doing. If they are better shape than me, I will invite them for dinner. So I can drizzle extra butter on their plates and pour lots of sugar in their cosmopolitans.

This year I’m planning to get a dozen voodoo dolls which look like 20 something years old twinks. Those twinks on the island make me crazy!!! They drink high calorie cocktails & eat shits all day. Despite of all these, they maintain their skinny look. Those 20 something years old gay boys eat enormous cheese burger and mac & cheese on the side. They burp and they fart. They loose 3 pounds right there!! Monstrous metabolism!!!! Well! I will stick pins and needles on those twink voodoo dolls stomachs, so that will screw their metabolism. Also I will safety pin those dolls asses & nether regions so they cant have sex!!!!

Anyway!!!! I’m so excited about this summer. It sounds like it is going to be so much FUN! GAME ON BABIES!!!
Click here to read " I did 5 days liquid diet! I farted a lot!"

Soon you can rub your hoo-hoo with Viagra!!

Yeah! Your erectile problem will be your enjoyment soon. In very close future, you will rub your jewel box with Viagra. Telegraph Uk informed us today. Glad to hear it!!! According to article, seven rats treated and five of them showed signs of arousal. Isn’t that GREAT?! Rats can get boner. I wonder whose job is to rub rats weenies! Eeeww! ( HEY Don't be a BITCH! He should be happy to have a job in this gloomy economy! )

News made me really happy. Because when I get older, I will give my man-part a good old Viagra massage! At some point everyone needs to polish their cookie once in a while. And best news!! Side effects are less than Viagra!! No headaches! No facial flushing!!! Don’t you love science??!!

Click here to read " Cats lick their own ass"

Thought for the day!!!! " Rim job?!"

I was thinking earlier today. What if there was a nice Latino bubble butt waiting for me!! Clean & smooth!!!!! Expecting me to give a rim job for him! Would I do that?? Even if I knew bubble butt had anal warts! Would I give him a rim job??? Latino bubble butt versus anal warts! Which one would win? Hhmmmm?!! Wait for my respond till next thought for the day!! Meantime!! Would YOU give him a nice, mind blowing rim job???? Think about that??!!

Click here to read " Rules of anal sex" & play safe my gay blog fans!!!!

Tattoos make me horny

Click here to see more tattoos!!!!

Now!! I know why some animals eat their young!!!!!

I have to tell you some kids are crazy and those crazy ones don't like me. I don't know why??!!! Last week I had to take care of my co-worker's 4 years old daughter for couple hours. It was insane!! Little shit needed so much attention!! The kid was so needy. She wanted to have hugs and kisses every other second. I'm NOT kidding!!! After first, second, third, it got so annoying. I'm definitely not touchy person. I tired to explain little girl, but bitch didn't get it. I told her " Unless I'm on the dance floor, I do not hug and kiss people. Especially girls". She didnt understand what I meant. She started crying. I wonder if she has very low IQ. I didn't know to do!!! Finally, I decided to mix her a nice protein shake. She hated it. Can you believe this?!! I told you she was little dummy. She had no idea what healthy life style was. After this incident, I realized some kids are crazy and as I mentioned they don't like me!!!!
Another example is my neighbor's 3 years old

kid. She is a crazy bitch!!! Everyday I come home tired & wired. As soon as I step in, she starts crying. I can hear her from my living room. How come she can't do all her crying all day when I'm at work?? Can't she shut up when I get home??!! No she can't! She does this to disturb me on purpose. She is a very smart girl. She uses her beauty to get people love her. She is also a great actress. When ever she sees me, she smiles and waives. She does her tricks to get my attention. Of course to be nice I bent down and give her little kiss. In return that bitch grabs my hair and pulls it. She also makes noises like native Americans used to do at war. "Aaawwgg! Yoowwggg!" Bitch does it to me all the time. Now!! I know why some animals eat their young!!!

Here is another story why I think some kids are crazy. Couple years ago I was flying to Turkey. A woman with 3 years son sat next to me. What a luck right??! Since flight was for 10 hours, I decided to treat her and her son nicely. In my way I tired to be cute. During the flight she had to go restroom multiple times. I guess she was having her girl's thing!! Every time she left for restroom, she made me watch her kid! No boundaries!!! I didn't know what to do with him. I made funny noises and cute faces to entertain that kid. Kid was very thankless. He didn't care about my effort to keep him entertained. BASTARD! She went restroom one more time. I was out of creativity. So I decided to show thankless kid couple of hot, nude boys pictures in my cell phone. First, he kinda liked it. Especially blond hair and white skin guys made him very happy.(so gay!) But when I showed him that big black guy's picture, kid freaked out all of a sudden. He started crying off the hook. I tried so hard to get him shut up. His mother was still in bathroom pms-ing. Everyone started looking at us. I was helpless and frustrated. So! I decided to try old trick. I tried to pour couple of sips of my vodka soda to kid's throat. While I was trying to feed him, bloody mother came. Of course she realized, what I was doing. Man! Woman had a tantrum. I tired to explain her. She didn't even listen to me. SO RUDE!#@! She accused me being crazy.(CUNT!) I told her that her son really liked blond boys, but for some reason he hated the black guy. I told her that little kid might HAVE been racist. I was so surprised that little kid got scared of him, because black guy didn't even have full erection in that picture. There was no reason to freak out. Also I told her that she was a bad mother. I told her very calmly " You should have left one of your tampon with him, so he could have something to play with". That didn't go well! She got so angry for no reason!!! ( it must been her hormones!!) She changed her seat. Some people can't appreciate the other people's help!!!! Didn't I tell you?! Some kids are crazy, obviously some mothers are crazy too. I don't get these!!!! I guess she realized her son was gay and she got pissed off. Well! I didn't do nothing wrong but taking care of little toddler!!!! It is not my fault he didn't like black guy's picture! No taste!!!! 

How about babies??! Sometime they could be annoying too. Once I was flying to Miami! A mother with her 6 month baby sat in front of me! Baby was so little! He seemed very innocent in the begging. During flight, baby cried a lot! She said " I'm sorry! He has a lot of gas! It bothers him!" I said " I could smell that". It was so inappropriate that baby farted a lot. For some crazy reason other passengers found baby cute. Some people are very strange!!!! After a lot of venting , baby shit to death! Plane smelled like a public bathroom. Everyone was saying " So cute! He pooped! Good boy!!" I didn't even find it cute.Eeeewww! What's cute about a pooping baby? It is like gulping down couple of laxatives and shit yourself during tanning!!! Would they find that cute too? Diaper or tanning bed! Both are the same thing!! Of course mother hated it me when I made my " tanning comment". I never understood why??! Clearly, Some people are really bizarre!!
At the end I'm convinced some kids are crazy and those crazy ones hate me no matter how hard I tried to have them like me!!!!!! I GAVE UP!!!!

Click here to read "Dear Vodka! I'm divorcing you! "

Be patient! Summer is so close!!!

I know! I know! Everyone had enough with cold weather! Be patient BITCHES! Summer is so close! Meantime you get warmer with Z's random hotties! Don't be silly rabbit of course Z reveals!!!

Click here to see more random hotties

Easter CRAZY hat parade!

Easter crazy hat parade was so much FUN in NYC. New Yorkers didn't care about recession and put all their creativity in hats. It was very festive. Here are some fabulous hats and more to come!!
Only in New York kids only in New York


Click here to see "My Tribute to ASS-- "Unconditional Love to BUTT "-:) "

Gerald's 40th birthday party

Paul & Gerald did a FABULOUS party for Gerald's 40th bday! Party was at Elmo. Crowd was extremely handsome. Well! It was really hard to believe that Gerald's was turning four decades corner, because he still looks amazing and rocks!

Z & Judd-- As I said crowd was extremely handsome just like Judd.

Gerald & Marcello--- Sooo cutteee!!

Tim was glowingly handsome!

Brain the bf & Tarin

Brandon & Fabio

Brett & Z

Oscar & Z


Chris & Dan

After Gerald blew off his bday candles, he did an emotional " I LOVE YOU GUYS" speech. I must have been the hormones! They changed after 40 you know! LOL. Needless speech was very touching. Not to mention bday cake was delicious!

Hottest boys went crazy on bday cake. They didn't even care about ruining their tiny waists.


Z & Paul

Cute David

Annnddd cute Lee

Z, Gerald & Brian the bf-- I must say, party was so much FUN, but following morning morning was painful. Severe hungover was involved. I couldn't function till I took couple of sips of delicious mimosa

CLICK HERE TO SEE ANOTHER FABULOUS PARTY Z ATTENDED