(No offense my Japanese fans! I LOVE TOKYO!)
Remember! you were at Uniqlo store last Saturday. I was there too. Maybe you didn't even see me. Believe me!! I saw you! You made me be aware of you! Let me tell you the story! That Saturday I was very occupied with my deep thoughts. You know!!!! Having stressful job puts me into depressed mood. I don't think you need to know my problems. We barely know each other. As you saw too, store was packed. Hello!!! Everybody needs affordable Japanese clothes!!! I was literally climbing giant stairways one by one to get mens department. I was minding anything but my own thoughts. First I didn't realize you were in front of me couple stairs up. We were stepping stairs simultaneously. I constantly was taking deep breath to decrease my tension. Crowd of the place added extra irritation to my sprit. Still I didn't realize your butt was the same level as my nose & mouth. Anddd something unexpected happened suddenly. You farted!!!! I was inhaling deeply. You let it out hard and lout. I inhaled every bit of it. My lumps got pumped with fumes of your fart. I guess I stopped breathing for couple seconds. My face turned red. I was paralyzed. I coughed! I froze! I was disabled! The smell of your fart was disgusting!! I was afraid my nose cells were damaged. Your fart made marijuana effect on me. I got disoriented. I sat down and started laughing. Not from happiness MORON! I was having nervous breakdown! Only difference between marijuana high & fart high was I don't get munchies on the contrary I wanted to barf!!! Finally it dawned on me! OMG! I ate a bad ass!!! Gurk!! Eeeww!
What the fuck did you eat previous nite?? Sushi? Tempura? I didn't trace any smell of ginger or soy sauce I LOVE SUSHI!! It doesn't give me gas at all.What!!!! Don't tell me you ate Mexican! No wonder! Was that smell all rice, beans, cheese! Eeew! Stick with your own culture!
Days & days that smell didn't go away from my nose. I don't think I can ever smell the same again. Still I smell shit once in a while. It comes & goes.
I have to admit . WHAT A TIMING!!!! You picked the time I was inhaling. Didn't your family teach you not to fart in public. Couldn't you tighten your but cheeks. Why do you have to be so loose?
I don't remember your face but I do remember your beautiful black hair ( every Japanese does!!) . I also notice you had a nice bubble butt.( I would love to taste! OH! Guess WHAT! I already did! ) Next time if you see each other, please squeeze your butt cheeks. Remember my face is not a toilet. No need to get excited!!! Simply DO NOT belch on it!!!
5 TALK TO Z! COMMENT?:
I fall on my knees in gratitude for this post --- wait, no, stop. Maybe that is not the best position considering the topic at hand. Getting a nasty fart in the face like that can leave a long lasting effect, not a good one!
Z Bitch you have an uncanny ability to time your posts so perfectly to when I am in need of a good and witty zinger of a laugh. I do sympathize of course with the initial olfactory assault and the apparent long lingering effects of the malodorous anal bomb.
It's only right that adults should squeeze the cheeks and control their farts when in such proximity to others.
Hope you get over it soon, I suggest tea tree oil for future emergencies.
What a trauma. Next time this happens, go straight to the perfume department. The fumes will burn out the last remaining vestiges of the foul odor. Funny, butts can be so nice, and so evil, too.
I think the same guy made an "appearance" in the dressing rooms at Barney's Co-op the other weekend. Man was it awful! The sales woman had to go get spray to cover it up, lol.
I think the same guy made an "appearance" in the dressing rooms at Barney's Co-op the other weekend. Man was it awful! The sales woman had to go get spray to cover it up, lol.
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