To my lovely pubes! We need to talk!!


Hey my Pubes dearest!
What’s up down there? It has been very long time we haven't talked. We have been inseparable since I got into my teenage years. We lived through so many unforgettable events with you boys like my first masturbation, my first quickie in public. We shared so many things like gallons of KY lubricants, every color of condoms including edible ones. We had good days and bad days together. Even though I shaved off you guys most of the time, you always managed to come back. What survivors! Well! I must say when ever you have grown back, it was painfully itchy. Most of the time itchiness gave me big embarrassments. NOW! We need to talk!!!
At some point of my life I stopped cutting off you guys. Well! The view ain’t pretty! I had to do piggy tails or pony tails. When I was in high school, I didn’t have time to shave off my forest. I gave you nice layers. It was the period that Charlie’s Angels was the hottest show. And Farah Fawcett’s layered hair was the most popular hairdo. Her hair style always was my inspiration for you guys. After years I realized (also I have been told) that not having pubes make my assets look much bigger.

It looks much cleaner and neater. Just like minimalist apartments! Objects get the most attentions when there is no clutter around! I tired so many other ways to keep you punks tidy. Remember! Once I tried nair! I kept it too long on you guys. My balls and inner thighs burned off from too much chemicals. (Aaaww!) I couldn't walk or sit properly for days. That was the last time I used nair. (Good Riddance!!) Once I tired Brazilian wax. It was stinging. It got nasty inner grows . They looked like mosquito bites, red and itchy.
Anyway! All those years cutting, trimming, shaving made me so tired of it. The older I got, the thinner my hair got. On the contrary you (my lovely pubes) are getting thicker. What is it going on?!! The more I cut you the more you punks the faster you grow. I’m so sick of it!! Can you guys just fall off from my genitals?? I really would love to be bald down there! Dear Pubes! Your help would be highly appreciated. Thank you for cooperation.

13 TALK TO Z! COMMENT?:

Boy from LA said...

lordy- I don't want my hair to all fall out, but bald below the neck has a lovely ring to it

Luis said...

Oh my gawd! I thought I was the only one who used Nair.

I swiped my sisters and just like you my forest caught fire and couldn't sit for the longest time.

Please, Z Bitch, pics next time??

I need a visual!

Tee hee hee!

:)

Kevin G said...

lol, reminds me of a coworker who was shocked that his pubes had gone grey.
Now if a pep talk is all that is needed to get rid of unwanted hair, dont be surprised if you see me walking down the street mumbling to All of my unwanted hairs.

Guido said...

What is WRONG with you? Why would you ever want to be BALD down there? That's nasty...

Z said...

Hey Guido! Clearly you like body hair, but some people like smooth! :)

Boy from LA said...

Guido's man must keep a tube of Laxatone handy.

Miko said...

LMAO!

Hey to each their own. Fluffy or smooth, its all good!

Pawed!

Blondie said...

I've never heard of Laxatone and I had to look it up.

OMG. Very, very funny LA boy!

Doug W. said...

Minimalists apartments....hahahaha - good one Z!

Jason said...

I have to agree with you, when men are clean shaven "down there" they do appear to be larger, at least they do to my eyes, tee hee.

George said...

Apparently you haven't seen the 40 Year Old Virgin and discovered the joys of waxing! Thanks again for some laugh out loud humor.

runner said...

I love my pubes!!!! They've been there through the good times, mostly the bad...~grin~

mtc64 said...

I think most of us have been through the same things. I myself change my "look" now and then....letting them grow, trimming, shaving, even bleaching.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails