We all need VICODIN in this gloomy economy!!!

Couple weeks ago my boyfriend dislocated his shoulder. He fell down from stairway on the way to the gym. He came back home in so much pain. When he got home, I was in the shower singing Madonna’s song “She is not me”. Apparently he screamed my name, I didn’t hear him. Bitches!!!! Don’t blame me! I was having so much fun being nude and wet Madonna in the shower. Anyway I got out of the shower; I heard my baby’s voice. He was screaming like a cow “Mooawww!” Apparently, dislocating shoulder is very painful. It’s never happened to my pretty shoulder. How could I know?!! I love my boyfriend! I could do anything for him except orgy. (Because orgies create too much mess to clean after!!) He was in so much pain. I almost cried.

Anyway! We took a cab and went to Emergency Room. They gave him pain killer. While I was taking his clothes off (so doctor could examine him), he accidentally set his shoulder back in. Miracle!! HUH?! They took his X-rays. They said he needed to see a specialist. Also they prescribed him vicodin. I was very afraid of vicodin prescription, because I didn’t want my boyfriend to become Cindy McCain on me!!!

My story starts from here!! Basically his prescription said two pills every six hours!!! Believe me!! That vicodin could turn an unpleasant accident into so much fun!!! At first I was very content, because my boyfriend wasn’t in terrible pain. He made so many funny jokes and laughed all the time (sometimes he laughed with no reason) But!!! After a while his constant happiness got very annoying. Let me tell you something! SO much happiness gives me nausea. Come on! Can anyone be happy all the time???

Vision this! I prepare a simple lunch for him like a green salad over the weekend. He loves it!! He says “A M A Z I N G salad! I love your salad and I love you” He eats two big servings. Meantime I realize I put so much salt and vinegar in the salad. It is not even edible.

Of course for couple of days he didn’t go to work. He had free time, so he did my taxes! GOD!!! What a mistake! Vision this! I just get home from work! I’m very tired and irritated! He comes and kisses me “Hi Baby! I MISSED YOU” OK!! This part is sweet! Keep visioning it! He says ”Baby I did your taxes today. I used Turbo Tax. Let me tell you something! That program is A M A Z I N G!!!” Me thinking “Here! we go again!” He says “You only owe $3000 to government! How great is that?!!” I scream “WTF!! I’m supposed to pay $3000?! It is not great! It is bullshit! Do it again! F*CK Turbo Tax!!!”

Not to mention! He is not only happy on vicodin and he is also very talkative. It is like constant Yup! Yup! Yup!... Don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend. I could do anything for him (expect having sex with bears) Vision this! I come home and had a very stressful day at work (thanks to bad economy). I’m FULLY caffeine loaded and ready for a bull fight. My boyfriend is happy AGAIN! Annnddd I just want to vomit. This was not for one day. It went on for two weeks. End of it, I hid the vicodin bottle!! GOOD JOB!!!!

Now I’m thinking since we ALL have been dealing with crap at work and in our personal lives, we all need vicodin. I have a GREAT idea!! Vicodin should come with bi-weekly check in a envelope as company benefit. We pop the vicodin and have a good time. And Obama should make this tax deductible for companies. If there are companies which fails to achieve this benefit, government should not bail out them. All I’m saying we all need vicodin in this gloomy economy. Is it too much to ask??

My boyfriend was just like him on vicodin! He was sooo happppy all the time!! DAMN IT!!

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