Fire Island preparations! GAME ON BOYS!!!!

As all my blog fans know, I have a summer share in Fire Island. It is a gorgeous island and full of handsome gay boys. In three weeks my share is starting. I’m very excited about that. I share the house with other seven gay guys. I don’t know if you know anything about Fire Island boys. They are all impeccably handsome. (S T U N N I N G!!). These boys prepare their bodies for summer all year around. My housemates already started going on all sorts of crazy diets and training sessions. For example one of my housemates has been on a liquid diet for 15 days (maybe more!). He only drinks water, lemon juice, maple syrup & cayenne pepper concoction. Can you believe that BITCH?! He hasn’t bitten solid food for weeks. He has gone further with his liquid diet and bought a food scale. He scales even zero calorie water.

Yeah! In three weeks I have to be in my perfect shape. I admit I have still my winter weight on. I have extra four pounds!!! Don’t say!! 4 pounds is NOTHING!!! Those extra pounds gotta go! PERIOD!!!
I tired everything green veggie drinks, acai berry shakes which make me shit to death & also puking!!!! Stubborn four pounds are still down there somewhere. So!! I came up with a plan!! Starting from tomorrow, I will eat three times meal and two times snack. I will eat 1/8 of cereal bar for breakfast, two strips of green beans for lunch, ½ of celery stick for dinner. For snacks menu is so simple. I will deeply inhale!!! (Hmmhmm! tasty!!) Of course gallons of water!!! I will also run 2 hours on the treadmill like a horse everyday.

I’m afraid I have to cut alcohol too which could be very embarrassing for me. If someone realizes it, my reputation could be ruined. I have to be really careful. At parties I will order club soda with lime. I will tell everyone, it is vodka-soda. If a jerk realizes, I will definitely deny it. If jerk insists and says “OH! Hahaha! It is not vodka-soda!! I know you are drinking plain club soda” I will quietly say “ If you don’t shut up now, I will post all your bad pictures on my blog and tell everyone you have STD’s” Of course jerk will shut up because this trick always works.

There are a lot of things to do before my share starts. I have to trim my chest, armpit and pubic hair. Yeah! Who wants to see mustache on his snake anyway. One week prior to summer share I must get hair cut which should make me look like extremely available. Facial must be gotten one week prior to share as well. For that I’m depending on my Russian facial person. She must squeeze my black heads shit the hell out of it. Even if I scream, I don't care!!1

Also I need to see how my friends are doing. If they are better shape than me, I will invite them for dinner. So I can drizzle extra butter on their plates and pour lots of sugar in their cosmopolitans.

This year I’m planning to get a dozen voodoo dolls which look like 20 something years old twinks. Those twinks on the island make me crazy!!! They drink high calorie cocktails & eat shits all day. Despite of all these, they maintain their skinny look. Those 20 something years old gay boys eat enormous cheese burger and mac & cheese on the side. They burp and they fart. They loose 3 pounds right there!! Monstrous metabolism!!!! Well! I will stick pins and needles on those twink voodoo dolls stomachs, so that will screw their metabolism. Also I will safety pin those dolls asses & nether regions so they cant have sex!!!!

Anyway!!!! I’m so excited about this summer. It sounds like it is going to be so much FUN! GAME ON BABIES!!!
Click here to read " I did 5 days liquid diet! I farted a lot!"