Turning into shameless DUDE!

Right before going to South Beach I decided to give myself man-scape. Normally I trim my pubes. I said myself “Gurrlll! Just shave it off this time”. I laid out the tools and moved the lawn. It took quite time to finish exquisitely. At the end, my package looked more handsome and younger. Although without pubes I felt little bit vulnerable.
I went to South Beach and had a great time. It has been almost two weeks I got back to NYC. I didn’t get bumps or redness luckily. The only problem has been that ( since they are growing) , my balls are very itchy in fact all nether region itches like hell including my behind. Without knowing I scratch my balls sometimes my butt too. I can't help it!!! But the worst happened yesterday. I was at the grocery market getting stuff for the house. I was juggling with grocery cart and tried to scratch my jewels. I didn’t realize the big guy in front of me. I guess I hit his sexy butt with my cart. Big boy yelled “What the hell?!!” I was surprised he gave so much reaction. It was not a big deal I just felt his butt. That shit happens to me all the time! And!!! I made the most egregious error of my life. I said the word.. ..!!! I can’t even repeat it now. but if you insist. I said the D word. I told him “Sorry dude!!!” It has been days I have been adjusting myself, scratching my ass like a ghetto person. And now this shit happened. What is it going on with me??!!! I’m afraid I’m turning into shameless dude. What is next?!!! Spitting on street!!!!!!
I think I need help! Please Fashion GOD! Come back and make me so gay again!!! I just want to fart glitter , just like I used to !!!!
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