I wish I could sell my eggs!!!!!

This morning I was rushing to gym. I was very occupied with my own thoughts and talking to myself like a crazy person. Like everyone else, I have been concerned about my job last couple of months. I was thinking about " What if I loose my job? What would it happen to my cash flow? Could I pay my mortgage? How about my life style? Could I maintain it??.."
As usual I grabbed that free newspapers Metro and AMNY. You gotta love those newspapers. There is not much to read. They are basically full of bullshit but if I scan them through quickly, I could have pretty good idea what's going on in NYC.
AMNY had a very interesting cover. While I was taking my clothes off in the locker room, that cover precisely got my attention. Headline was " NYers cash in on themselves" . OH YEAH?! How?! Clearly New Yorkers are trying to make money off natural resources. Whaaaat? Didn't you get it?!!! They started to sell their hair, sperm and eggs because of recession. OH WOW! What a great idea! I'm so selling my sperm then! All I have to do" masturbate more!! " No big deal! Although some studies say masturbation is really bad for your body. Who cares!!! I do it anyway.
I kept reading the article further while I was working on my gorgeous biceps. Ooopps! I just was informed I could get only $100 for my sperm. WTF?! That's it!?!! It barely covers after orgasm drinks. Do they know a glass of cosmopolitan costs $15 in Manhattan? My sperms are the way more valuable than $ 100. Reading more....
Article said that hair was up to $600. That sounds better but my hair is not that good. I barely can keep them on my head. I'm getting bald!! I have no surplus on that area. Nobody would want my crappy hair anyway!!! Maybe I can sell my pubes. My pubes are GREAT! They can put them in a good use. Should I call and ask them? No! No!. Reading further...
Article said eggs were so much in demand. They could go up to $10000. I was like " OMG!!! Eggs are in DEMAND!!! Fuck me hard!!!! I do not have eggs!!! I'm an egg-less gay guy!!! "
You have NO idea that moment how much I wanted to be a woman. I know what you are thinking now!! Not like that! Not like Ru Paul!! (Although I do drag for fun sometimes). I wanted to be a real woman with great eggs. Can you imagine?!! If I was a woman, My eggs could have been worth $10000. Screw sexism! Women are fierce!!!! I really want to be a woman. I envy them. If I had good quality eggs, I would have been in a real good financial situation.
When mortgage time comes, I would sell an egg to pay for it. Credit card bill arrives, I would sell another egg. In fact I would make a habit out of it like chicken and I would drop an egg when ever I want to. I would go to Louis Vuitton store and get all the bags I want and I would drop an egg. I would tell my housekeeper " Here honey! Your 5 years payment in advance. Just get my one of my eggs."
Come on! Wouldn't it be cool, if I would take two weeks vacation with my partner in Cannes. When I get the bill, I would give one of my eggs and tell them " Keep the change" .
Don't get me wrong, but Damn it! Women are very lucky!!!! I envy them especially during recession time.
Click here to read-- "" Our eyes met during last night's orgy" A Love Letter from a sex addict"