Z's Subway Stories " The day I found my subway crush "

June 05 2008
I did shopping all day in SOHO. It was time to go home and have a glass of cosmopolitan. I took the subway from Spring street stop. I sat down on one of the bench. Damn! I was feeling exhausted. I saw my image in the window of subway. I looked sooo cutteee (despite all). I said myself "Girl! You rock!" After one stop an adorable guy got in the car. Our eyes clashed. I was like " Hope he is gay. Please GOD! Make him gay" He checked his hair and outfit at the window. “Yeah! I won he is gay" And I could see his legs from his short shorts. His shaved legs were as smooth as baby butt. Honey! Those legs were screaming "GAY". All of a sudden he smiled at me. My heart was off the hook. I got blushed. He suddenly walked and sat next to me. Oh dear! He was so yummmy! He had angel like curly blond hair, fair skin and big shinny green eyes. Amazing upper body!! Chelsea boy tight thank top helped him to show off his ripped body. We smiled each other like high school girls. He asked my name. "OMG! I can't believe he likes me. Something's got to be wrong" We exchanged our names. Of course I had to spell my name. BTW "I HATE MY NAME" We were chatting casually. He started touching and rubbing his leg on my leg. "OH! It feels good! Keep going!" I said myself “God! Isn't he gorgeous? Hope he is a nice person. Inner beauty is more important." While I was thinking all those lovey-dovey thoughts, that terrible thing happened. BUM! My subway crush farted audibly. Deadliest fart ever!! Smell was so distinct and rotten. You have to understand, the fart was so rotten that you couldn't even pretend you didn't notice it. Everybody smelled it. I was so ready to forgive him. I was an accident. It could happen to anyone. While I was ready to forgive him. BUM! He ripped another killer fart from his bubble ass. DAMN IT! It smelled like bad ass! very very bad ass! "HELP! Does anyone has gas mask here?" BUM! BUM! Third one! Human stink bomb! What the hell did this guy eat?? Rice & Beans for breakfast?! Maybe He had been on a protein diet. BUM! Another one! Man! He was dropping farts back to back! "Can't you stop this? Do you mind if I stick a cork in your ass!" GROSS! Apparently my subway crush was a chain farter. I said inner beauty was more important. Hell! This one had rotten inner area. Honestly at some point greasy cloud surrounded us. I was like “RUN FOR LIFE" I stood up and walked to the back in a hurry. I turned back and looked at him for last time. BUM! He dropped another hammer! By my hunky fart machine! SO LONG Mr Leaky Ass!
Click here to read " I hate that big ugly cashier with dirty acrylic nails"