DAY 1--- Day 1 menu was cabbage, head of celery & cucumber. I put those in a juicer and mixed.All day I had to drink this stuff! YIKES! I said myself "I can do this! Girl!!! Where is your will power?!" 10 am I was starving. I had miserable caffeine headaches! I needed to have coffee urgen
tly "I'm addicted to coffee!" Which moron created this diet! Coffee Basher! Lunch break!!! Great! I went out and had some fresh air. This cabbage drink made my stomach bizarre! I was dying for coffee! All the little Mexican busboys seemed to me Starbucks Grande Latte! They looked so yummy!" Come!! my little Mexican Frappucinno give a sip to your daddy" OH! Day 1!! and I already lost it! I made the evening barely. I passed out at nite.
DAY 2--- Day 2 menu was broccoli, green pepper, kale mixed juice. Ehhhww! Juice was so green! I had a BIG meeting that day! All VPs, EVPs! All important big bosses! 11 am I started farting little bit! Shit! It must have been broccoli! My tongue was green too! 1 pm I went to meeting! I couldn't stop farting! OH! It smelled so bad! I was belching out loudly! Everyone was laughing at me! The smell in the air was like death pigeon! Ehhww! I felt embarrassed! I said myself "GOD Brian!!! Why did you tell me, I was fat" Whenever I talked, everyone looked my tongue! It was all green!!!! I was a giant fart machine with a big green tongue! I passed out that nite too!
Day 3--- I woke up very tired! No energy! Day 3's menu was carrots, beets & tomatoes! Juice was red! As if I hadn't had enough problem with green day! Lunch time I peed red! GEE! Talking about vagina was having her period! Mine was bloody mengina!! Thank God! Nobody saw my fashionably red pee! I was starving all day! I wanted to have solid food! I wanted to bite! Gosh! It has been 2 days I haven't pooped! I was obsessed with the idea of biting all day.I made home barely. Pheeww!! Me & my boyfriend went to bed early. I couldn't go to sleep!!! Tossing & Turning! I needed to
release my tension! I made Brian the bf wake up! " Honey Let's have sex!" Brian the bf said " Horny bitch! Do you know what time it is? It is 3 am!!" I said " I'm not horny! I'm hungry! Honneey!! Show ur peperoni to me!" GEE! The idea of peperoni made my mouth watering. Well! I started giving my boyfriend a good old head! Meantime I was hallucinating pepperoni. Yummmy!!! Succulent pepperoni!! All of sudden Brian the bf screamed " What the hell! WHORE! You are eating my dick!! STOP IT!!" OMG! I was eating his pepperoni. OH GOD!! " I'm a mess!"Day 4--- Today's menu! Broccoli, cabbage and cucumber mixed juice! Great! Another fart day! I was so cranky all day! I was craving big juicy steak! Whenever I saw big tits on the street! They reminded me hanger steaks! GOD! First time boobies made me smile! Ehhhww! My pee was so dark and stinky all day! At nite! I was still cranky!!! We went to bed early! I passed out! In the middle of the I woke up with stomach pain! I didn't wanna wake up my boyfriend again! I decided to have a toe-curling masturbation! I couldn't concentrate!Well! When I was hungry, it was impossible to get it up! I gave up!!! What I did?!!! I shaved my balls & my armpits! CRAZY! But I made day 4!!!!
Day 5---- I woke up with no energy! Last day! SHIT! I said myself "
I cannot do this anymore! This is crazy!" I realized I have not scaled yet! I was scared what if I didn't loose weight! I slowly walked to the scale. I said " Scale! Scale! Tell me who is skinner Paris Hilton or me" OMG! I lost 20 pound in 4 days! Fuck it! & I didn't do 5th day!!Was it worth it? Well! You should decide! Here is my after diet picture! I highly recommend this diet? ( if you can handle explosive farts!) LOL LOL!
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